Monday, January 30, 2012

Moving Forward

How do you live a normal life with such debilitating conditions?

For me I really struggle with finding ways to find ways to do normal things, since I am so ill and in the hospital almost as much as I am out.  I just cannot do things like go out, and not have repercussions.  I simply cannot cognitively work, or do something day after day at the same level.  I'm fortunate if I get a few hours a week of a good level of function.  I cannot simply apply to a college, and go.  I know this, we (medical support, family, friends) all know this.

But that doesn't mean I can't do anything; I just need to figure out what I can do, when, and how.  One thing I have asked doctor's, not that they have the answer, is "what should I expect of myself?  What is reasonable?"

I wish I could say I am surprised to discover, when I push myself, I can do vastly more than I thought I could.  Especially that, plus not have serious consequences.  Crashes, not having enough energy, feeling as though I'm in a crisis mode, not being able to function...this can happen without me exhausting myself from a big day.  That's what is hard about such diseases.

Now that I've talked about the more gloomy side, what can I do about this?
I believe there are always ways around any situation.  and I CAN still push myself to a point, and find ways to move forward in my world.  I have dreams and hopes just like anybody else.  The same as somebody without a chronic disease or disability.  I want to take online classes, and graduate from college.  I want to make a difference in this world.  But if I never make the normal "steps" that this world expects young adults like me to take, I want to fulfill the purpose God has for me.  We all have a purpose! And THAT is my main goal in this life.  I don't want to miss a single thing He has for me!

What do YOU want to accomplish?
What are YOUR goals?
It's important to make a list - make deadlines and plans.
And don't ever let anybody tell you you can't.
Adapt, overcome. You're not alone!  We have a great community and a great God.

In Him,


  1. Wow Milly, you already are making a difference in this world. Your faith and your smile have been a great inspiration and encouragement to me. I think you said somewhere that if God wanted you in missions He would make a way. I remember thinking at the time that you are already in missions. He has already made a way. Your life and your smile are a great testimony. Wherever you (and God) go from here is certain to bring more and more blessings to many! Thank you, Milly, for sharing your journey with us.

    1. You are too kind.
      He is just the one taking me forward, holding me up!
      He reigns,