Sunday, April 21, 2013

"they go from strength to strength"

Well hello!

My surgery went off so smoothly that my surgeon could scarce believe it.  He still talks about it every time I see him!  We both give God the glory as each of my doctors were expecting at least a small amount of complications.  I'm grateful to the anesthesiology team for their skill in avoiding certain drugs (muscle relaxants etc) that would have weakened my respiratory system, but are most always used in general anesthesia when putting somebody on a ventilator.  My surgeon did a wonderful job as always and encountered no problems.  Also, GI was able to come in after and give me a G-tube which has proven to be invaluable in symptom control, as well as releasing air so I can use my biPAP.

My Bible's bookmark has seemingly been permanently set between the pages of Psalms, the 85th.  The last six months have been particularly challenging, but as always reading passages brings me comfort knowing the truth they contain.  I love John, James, and Psalms in particular.  (John 15 has been my 'read' this week on repeat!)  

I just wanted to share this with you: One of my favorite doctors made a note about going from "strength to strength" as an encouragement to me.  I found it in my favorite Psalm 85, which I found to be very ironic.
Vs 5-7: "Blessed is the man whose strength is in You whose heart is set on pilgrimage as they pass through the Valley of Baca.  They make it a spring; the rain also covers it with pools.  They go from strength to strength.  Each one appears before God in Zion."
I think it's such a beautiful thought.  Even when nothing is going right, and it feels like there is nothing to keep me going-nothing to distract me or give me any purpose-I can rest assured that His strength is enough to carry me.  Often though, I do have little things throughout the day that make me smile, little "strengths" as I now think of them that keep me going.  Whether it's a bit of time studying, a message from a friend, or a bit of Scripture.

I hope everyone has a beautiful week, and a blessed day.
Love, Milly

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Psalms and Stars

I am so grateful for today!
Some days I am less inclined towards gratefulness, but as Psalm 118:24 states, "this is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."  I can't help but rejoice on the good days and I really do feel how good He is every day; but rejoicing doesn't come easy when things are frustrating, painful, and difficult.

But today was finally a better day.  And while last several weeks have been incredibly challenging physically, this describes everything to a 'T': Psalm 42:8 "By day the Lord directs His love, at night His song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life."  He continually upholds me.

I've really been enjoying messages from Louie Giglio.  "How Great is Our God" was exactly what I needed to hear this weekend!  If you get the chance, check it out.  Did you know that the biggest star in the known universe, could fit 378 quadrillion Earths?  Psalm 33:6 says, "by the Word of the Lord the Heavens were made; their starry hosts by the breath of His mouth."  Yeah, my mind was pretty blown too!  I loved all the beautiful photos of space that he posted along with the message, absolutely stunning.  The next day, I watched the one called "Indescribable" and was just as amazed and encouraged.

I'm so amazed that such a massive, star-breathing God (who as Psalm 147 says knows each one by name) would comfort me and bring me peace so constantly!

This is just cool, a beautiful expression of God's grace in all things, as Louie Giglio simply pointed out.
It's at the very center, in the black hole of a whirlpool Galaxy called "The Darling".  It's called the 'X structure'

Thanks Hubble!  If you want to see more of God's creation, browse around the site!  Absolutely beautiful.


I know I'm not a terribly frequent blogger, but I am having surgery next Tuesday and may be absent for longer than usual.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

One Word 365


It was blatantly obvious, I didn't even pick it.  I just knew that's what it was.

I better back up, for those of you who don't know what One Word 365 is.
You pick a word that describes what you want to learn, work on, or embrace that year.  (At least that's how I envision it.)  Last year, I chose joy.

So much is uncertain for me right now.  I learned around Thanksgiving last year that my gallbladder needs to come out.  The rule for me is emergency surgeries only, since I tend to have a poor recover and backslide afterwards due to the drugs and narcotics.  There is some equipment I need to help with my breathing, and I am having a lot of new symptoms and developments.

So when this word challenge came around again in the New Year, I knew it was going to be a year of trust.  In past years, I had to learn to trust.  This year, I need exercise it without holding back because I am not strong enough to do this on my own.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
This is the most imporant part of my One Word 365!  This verse is so special to me.  Psalm 139, as I'm sure I've quoted before, states that He knit me together and ordained my days before I was even born.  He isn't surprised by what is going on in my life!  It is a fallen world, and not how He'd like it to be.  He redeemed me, and has a place for all who receive His gift in eternity, but for now I'll do everything He calls me to do where I'm at.

I also have to trust those whom God has placed in my life.  I am finding it easy lately to trust that my physicians are making the best decisions for me, and accepting those decisions with peace.  There have been some weighty and difficult ones to make recently!  And as I go into surgery, there will be many decisions that my surgeon and anesthesiology team will have to make on the spot.  I need to have absolute trust in them that they are going to make all the right calls.  I've come to the conclusion long ago that it is out of my hands!  God is in control, not me.  I frequently forget this and try to micromanage everything, but He is always quick to gently remind me that He's "got it covered, relax".

When we let go, and trust, we are free to enjoy life.